Monday, February 28, 2011

Wedding post#11: the e-ring's purpose

I love my ring. Not just cause it is pretty (it is!) or because receiving it is one of my dearest memories (it is) but because every so often, not usually, it startles me to see jewelry on my finger and I instantaneously remember why. It's fun! And exciting. I get a little visual reminder of my friend and partner for life.

It happened tonight. I was rubbing my eye at work and scared myself with a near stone in the eye. Then it happened, I thought, "oh yeah, I get to head home to my future hubby. We'll eat leftovers and broccoli, probably in front of the TV." And it made me so happy.

Not to say that didn't happen without the ring but it is different in a way. I was (still am maybe) kind of worried that I'd never understand marriage. My life experience was that you don't need it to have children, you don't need it to have lasting romantic relationships, you don't need it to create a family/community. I was worried that I would never "get" it but I think I'm getting there. I am so happy/content that I get to have M in my life forever. So much so that I wear it as a badge. Man and country know that my life is entwined with him. The ring not only informs them but it serves to remind me too. I can imagine the utility of it when thoughts of M/marriage/life are less than stellar (I know my dear but I'm guessing it'll happen sometime) and I can imagine it strengthening me. Maybe I am overly romanticizing symbolism but it is working for me.

I may or may not have been the type of democratic party volunteering young woman who thought the e-ring was an outmoded form of sexism (or something along those lines. I guess that can fall under the numerous wedding traditions that were built around property acquisitions that have been re appropriated but that is a discussion for another day). Now I feel sad for M that he doesn't get that little rush. Maybe (and partially in response to the last parenthetical statement :) ) I should hit up Etsy for e-ring for him. Hmm...

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socalohana said...

love this post! so sweet =)

The Devil's Starchy Fingers said...

Ok, so my first thought when I saw the title was "oh dear god, they aren't doing virtual wedding rings are they?" and then I pulled my head out. Sometimes I am a little slow on the uptake. :-)

I understand your thoughts on the engagement ring. It means more to me than my wedding ring will. Not just because it is prettier but because that is the ring that really said "forever" to me. The wedding ring is just icing on the cake or the official signature.

And I agree with socalohana, it is a very sweet post.