Thursday, December 31, 2015

This guy!

Ok, I guess I could post on Facebook or something but i must document the hilarity. 

Andrew is eating lunch and asking for more "garbage sauce" which is code for BBQ sauce. It's absolutely hilarious. 

Michael's favorite is that he loves brushing his teeth with "pooth-taste". 

Honorable mention is that he says our friend ann-Marie's name like "yes siree"

Also adorable 
Christmas= miss-mas
Miranda= dir-randa

Wednesday, December 30, 2015

2015 holy shit

This year. Whoa. Whoa, whoa, whoa. 

Seriously. Insane. 

I swear Michael and I decided to find a list of stressful life events and pick a handful. End of December last year was when M was officially done at MS, then pregnancy, then new job, then car accident, then home buying and then remodeling and then moving.  All on top of the demanding toddler that lives with us who we've been busting ass to keep sane (as is possible for a two year old), feeling secure and loved.  

it is actually too much to process for me right now. I'm not sure we've officially come out of it unscathed. We are tired and still have so much work to do. Plus I feel fat and ugly and generally gross. 

But the reward of hanging with our little M is pretty fantastic. We are starting to feel like this house is a home and somewhere we can grow. Andrew is flourishing. We are so lucky and as much as 2015 tested us, can we begrudge anything? 

January 2015
(Absolutely picked this picture to see my old body...what do they say? I wish I was a fat as the first time I thought I was fat)

March- best trip ever!
Sleep away camp first trimester- kinda brutal. Makes me sympathize further with the girl in my cheer squad who was secretly pregnant. Cheer camp must've sucked!

June- early summer was awesome. 
August. I love two! He is NUTS but it is such talkative, creative, loving and smart nuttiness. I just love it. 

We bought a house. The home buying and selling process and remodeling pushed M and me really hard. So many decisions that needed to be made with not enough data. 
Pumpkins improved everything. 
Felt full of stress and packing and being very pregnant. 
December - where to even begin?

Friday, December 25, 2015

Good problem to have

One of the many thoughts I'm having this Christmas night is how lucky we are to have so many people who love our babies. Andrew got SO much for Christmas. We didn't get him anything and Santa brought three toys. But he hauled a nearly full car of exciting new things to play with. Plus we left a bunch of presents under the tree at home. 

It's a little overwhelming. Having so many people think about your kids is really amazing. I assume the Christmas high of intense over indulgence (chocolate and gifts basically every few hours for nearly three days) will wear off for him but for me the thought that we have so much and so many will last longer than the 8! tubs of play dough the little goofball received. 

The same way that the gifts I've given my niblings over the years are only tokens that reflect how much I'm rooting for them in life, the gifts and love my kids got this season do the same thing for me as the parent. I'm so glad they have people who care about them. 

So even though I totally think we should implement a single gift policy and I'm really really leery of raising an entitled asshole (especially living in Bellevue now) I am so happy and grateful this Christmas to have so much love surrounding us. 

Wednesday, December 23, 2015

A birth comparison

** Disclaimer: if my navel gazing about giving birth is boring or an overshare please just look at cute baby pics. I've been writing this whenever it comes to
Mind for the past four weeks but I figured I'd publish as a record. **

It is so interesting how similar yet how different my two delivery experiences were.

Michael's thought I was nuts this whole pregnancy because I was really excited to experience giving birth again. Likely thanks to nature's wisdom my memory of Andrew's birth are all sanded down to gentle edges- I remember the pain and how incapacitated and incoherent it made me but it doesn't seem too bad. Michael however has a clearer memory and thought I was insane. 

BabyM's birth went down the exact same route as Andrews yet it was the complete opposite experience. 
Induction: Foley catheter to start off both but with Andrew I went home and got used to the idea of starting labor. With M I went directly down to L&D- didn't pass go, it was game on right away. 
Pre-contraction toast!

Labor: I loved my ob with A but we learned that he is a little bit of a pitocin pusher which may have been why with A I felt like I was constantly contracting  and never able to even try to do all the labor crap we practiced (ex. Breathing).   With M I was able to work through contractions and knowing I had a break made it manageable. 
Here we go

Water rupture 
A was disgusting! And stressful since meconium in the water requires them to have nicu reps there for delivery and general rush to get baby out. M's was clear and put me at ease (until thatprocess  kicked up the intensity of contractions.). 

This is where I had a better experience with A than with M. Because I was able to work through contractions with M I contemplated not bothering with the epi. Then I came to my senses. But with A I was in so much pain and the epi was deep enough that I was SO happy once it was on board. With M it was so light that I could still move pretty well (good) but my legs felt like they were falling asleep and so itchy (bad). I could also feel contractions (good and bad). I was really uncomfortable with the epi. I had a serious emotional shift as I was nearly complete and started sobbing uncontrollably. It was bizarre and intense. 

Immediately following transitional losing of my shit and immediately before pushing

With A I pushed for-ev-er. With M they had me labor down for a little while and then during the practice push they rushed to get the doctor. Doc came and two pushes later I had a slimy blue creature on my chest. 

Andrew's birth felt like a production. My mom was in the room, my sisters were in the waiting room. The doctor and nurse plus a crew from the nicu. When he was born I barely saw him before he was wrapped up and taken off to nicu with Michael by his side. So after I was stitched up and cleaned up I was alone with no baby. It was sad. I vividly remember the nurse giving me a dry turkey sandwich and half heartedly joking with my sister that I was having a hallucination and there was no baby at all. Of course they came back only a few hours later and I got to inspect my little cone headed love bug and make incredulous faces to Michael in relation to the amazing thing that'd just happened. 

With Miranda it was so peaceful. My mom had taken Andrew to her house and Michael
and I were alone. There was only the nurses and Doctor and the doctor was only there for a few minutes. Baby came straight onto my chest -slimy and naked. And we were left alone for a while. Even the cell phone coverage kept us in our own little bubble since we couldn't place calls or texts very easily. It was a neat experience. 

With both of these guys I still look at them and marvel that these  entire people  were once in me and that I was once  small enough to be contained in my mom and so on like some kind of nesting doll through time. Pretty amazing. 

Tuesday, December 15, 2015

Week in review

As I type it is basically one week to the minute from when I was having a baby. 

Happy one week baby Miranda. 

In the time since we picked up the first home M ever bought. Where I started my family and the only home A's ever had. And moved to Bellevue. 

Whoa. To say it has been a lot is understatement. The rushing hormones and sleep deprivation have me too choked up for words right now. Except to say how fucking lucky I am. I have so much. Including friends and family who've pitched in to make this happen when we were on the edge of sanity. And lucky and proud to have M for a husband. The home buying/ remodeling process has not been easy on us but the way he's held things together and kept our wheels spinning for the past week is a reminder of how damn lucky I am to be on his team. 

Ok. Must sleep. Please enjoy this onslaught of baby pics. 

Slimy and new 

We interrupt these baby pics with Andrews first Oreo experience. 
We are pooped!