Thursday, January 26, 2017

Nuclear option

Andrew just started being into a show called "harry and his bucket full of dinosaurs"

It's cute enough but today it hit me that harry seems to live with just his mom and his nana helps out.

Wow. Can you imagine it?

Sometimes it is really bizarre to me the way my family has shaken out. A married couple with two kids (one son, one daughter even) a house, a cat.

This is not only NOT my personal experience but I can't even think of one example of this arrangement in my immediate circle during my primary school years. Now this is likely due to the village my mom created. It makes sense that families with adult deficiencies ban together to get shit done.

I just never really pictured myself in such a classic family structure. It is a good setup but surprises me sometimes in both good and bad ways.

The good: my mom told me once that the times she missed having a husband weren't the hard things as much as they were the good things. And I sort of get that now. Nobody on the planet other than Michael sees the way these kids shine to us alone. Nobody else fully grasps the goofy pride over the smallest of mundane accomplishments much less the big ones. I thought I did as a doting auntie but it is different (though I also realize that as an aunt I am able to see the good without any underlying trade offs). I love being able to look at Michael looking at our kids and know what he's feeling.

But it is also nice to have them for the hard stuff. When we were a trio it allowed us to have another adult with us when things are hard and now we can be man-on-man. When I think of the scramble that my poor mom had when one of us was sick or when both of needed to be somewhere at once. Until I had to deal with childcare scramble myself I used to fondly remember the little bed my mom made for my sick self under her desk at work and the sleepy morning drop offs at my aunt’s house because she needed to be at work before school started.

Since Andrew is in a major feisty moment of life ATM I also really enjoy having someone to side-eye and laugh at my kids with. With Michael, I know that I can share any frustrations or incredulity I have while knowing he knows the depth of my love and fondness for the little nut job.

As for the cons there aren't many I can imagine yet. Co-parenting can be somewhat tricky in ways I guess. It is hard enough to know what to do but then to add in another voice. Plus in a single parent household there is one ultimate answer rather than a two person committee (really a poly household would be good for tiebreakers).

I didn't ever imagine myself in such a family. Another piece of evidence that sometimes you just don't know what you want and need in life.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Saturday, January 21, 2017

Here's the thing

I'm not marching today.

I could say it is because I decided the forum thing we went to last night was my action. Or that I wanted to stay with my still kinda sicky family. Or that I feel like my little buddy needed a Saturday morning with the four of us and especially me.

All of that is true but none are why I'm not out there.

I'm sad and mad at us all. I can't get over it. How did this happen. And these marches just baffle and sadden me more because when you see the turn out and the passion it begs the question of why wasn't that enough before the election? What is wrong with us? How did this much fire not ignite when it actually mattered?

Plus there is the fact that i feel like I've been slapped in the face as a woman. Really I do. It's easy when you're surrounded by upstanding men and a kick ass female boss and other phenomenal women to ignore how fucked up the world is. But our president was on tape saying disgusting things about a woman and he was elected. Hillary Clinton still had to apologize for how she dealt with her husband's infidelity while her opponent got little beef for actually being the philanderer. We still absolutely suck at how we treat women as a society, how woman treat each other and how women still have to do the same jobs 100x better to even be considered.

I'm so disheartened. Or was, the stories and images from today's march are somewhat cooling the burn I've had in my gut since the election.

Now I look and am sorry to have missed such an historic and beautiful gathering. I just couldn't. I needed the extra beat to think about things.

My resolution to action is to make it my mission to defeat the only nearby republican congressman. He doesn't represent this region and his party doesn't represent the America i think we deserve.

My first trip to D.C. In 2004 was for the march for women's lives. I guess that's part of it too, I'm sad that we are still doing this.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Sunday, January 1, 2017

2017: digging out

The snow on the ground this morning was symbolic for me. It is a symbol of the figurative digging out that I need to do in 2017. Personally, in my relationships with others, nationally against the pile of crap coming our way.

We tried to do a best of 2016 for our family during dinner last night. I will preserve the answers here for posterity:

Best movie: M&A- Paddington, a-how do dinosaurs eat their food (Christmas gift)

Best trip: A&a- California and the swimming pool. M- pacific beach with the family

Best adventure: all- Dozer Day! Runner up- kids quest

Best month: M-December, A-July or August

We sort of ran out of questions at this point.

One thing I accomplished just under the wire was I put a bookcase in this baby's room FINALLY (like 6 months after I blogged about it).

Bonus Christmas pics

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone