Wednesday, December 23, 2015

A birth comparison

** Disclaimer: if my navel gazing about giving birth is boring or an overshare please just look at cute baby pics. I've been writing this whenever it comes to
Mind for the past four weeks but I figured I'd publish as a record. **

It is so interesting how similar yet how different my two delivery experiences were.

Michael's thought I was nuts this whole pregnancy because I was really excited to experience giving birth again. Likely thanks to nature's wisdom my memory of Andrew's birth are all sanded down to gentle edges- I remember the pain and how incapacitated and incoherent it made me but it doesn't seem too bad. Michael however has a clearer memory and thought I was insane. 

BabyM's birth went down the exact same route as Andrews yet it was the complete opposite experience. 
Induction: Foley catheter to start off both but with Andrew I went home and got used to the idea of starting labor. With M I went directly down to L&D- didn't pass go, it was game on right away. 
Pre-contraction toast!

Labor: I loved my ob with A but we learned that he is a little bit of a pitocin pusher which may have been why with A I felt like I was constantly contracting  and never able to even try to do all the labor crap we practiced (ex. Breathing).   With M I was able to work through contractions and knowing I had a break made it manageable. 
Here we go

Water rupture 
A was disgusting! And stressful since meconium in the water requires them to have nicu reps there for delivery and general rush to get baby out. M's was clear and put me at ease (until thatprocess  kicked up the intensity of contractions.). 

This is where I had a better experience with A than with M. Because I was able to work through contractions with M I contemplated not bothering with the epi. Then I came to my senses. But with A I was in so much pain and the epi was deep enough that I was SO happy once it was on board. With M it was so light that I could still move pretty well (good) but my legs felt like they were falling asleep and so itchy (bad). I could also feel contractions (good and bad). I was really uncomfortable with the epi. I had a serious emotional shift as I was nearly complete and started sobbing uncontrollably. It was bizarre and intense. 

Immediately following transitional losing of my shit and immediately before pushing

With A I pushed for-ev-er. With M they had me labor down for a little while and then during the practice push they rushed to get the doctor. Doc came and two pushes later I had a slimy blue creature on my chest. 

Andrew's birth felt like a production. My mom was in the room, my sisters were in the waiting room. The doctor and nurse plus a crew from the nicu. When he was born I barely saw him before he was wrapped up and taken off to nicu with Michael by his side. So after I was stitched up and cleaned up I was alone with no baby. It was sad. I vividly remember the nurse giving me a dry turkey sandwich and half heartedly joking with my sister that I was having a hallucination and there was no baby at all. Of course they came back only a few hours later and I got to inspect my little cone headed love bug and make incredulous faces to Michael in relation to the amazing thing that'd just happened. 

With Miranda it was so peaceful. My mom had taken Andrew to her house and Michael
and I were alone. There was only the nurses and Doctor and the doctor was only there for a few minutes. Baby came straight onto my chest -slimy and naked. And we were left alone for a while. Even the cell phone coverage kept us in our own little bubble since we couldn't place calls or texts very easily. It was a neat experience. 

With both of these guys I still look at them and marvel that these  entire people  were once in me and that I was once  small enough to be contained in my mom and so on like some kind of nesting doll through time. Pretty amazing. 

No comments: