Thursday, December 23, 2010

Wedding post #4: Awkward turtle guest list

I had my first awkward turtle moment about guest list. My female coworkers have been asking how venue hunting was coming and I shared with one of them our latest search results. She was excited for us to have found something and glad that things were coming together. Then she told me how she and her husband had talked about being sure they could make it. SCREEECHHH.

Now, let it be said, she is a favorite work chat buddy and sometimes venting-vent. I find her perfectly lovely and I had actually worked with her husband before (he accidentally nicknamed M as beefcake, which I still love). They are great! But they hadn’t made the guest list. Actually I only had 3 people from my current work on the list (and I worked with two of them at a previous company). It isn’t that I wouldn’t love partying it down with them but I was trying to stick with people I was just a tad closer to.

Now this feels really hard. If they want to come and are genuinely excited about sharing our day then that basically meets my guest characteristics. But they weren’t in the initial count. I guess this is why people talk about their guest lists being elastic. But I don’t want ours stretch to breaking point.

So I guess I’m left asking myself (and maybe should run it by M), is it OK to adjust the guest list if it is for people who seem to really want to be a part of our day? Should we just stick to the people who we determined to be a part of our inner community and trust that we managed to get everyone?

When we first started this wedding planning business we determined that our main goal (after getting MARRIED!) was to have an event that brought our whole community together to celebrate and to thank them for being a part of our lives. So guest list is about more than budgets and seating charts in that respect.

Hmmm, why do I think this may not be the last of this conundrum?


The Devil's Starchy Fingers said...

I think elastic is good. We have decided in the grand scheme of things we would rather have people there who will want to be there and enjoy the day then worry about a few extra dollars.

I don't know what your per plate price will be but say it is around $40. If you add 10 extra to your guest list is an extra $400 going to break the bank? Will you really notice that money gone in six months or a year? Will having people whose companyyou enjoy and you spend a lot of time with but maybe aren't super close to be worth a few extra dollars?

That kind of thinking can get dangerous if you apply it to everything which we are trying hard not to do. But there are areas where spending a few extra dollars is totally worth it.

You guys will figure out what feels right to you.

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