Friday, January 9, 2009

Too funny

No really, I am too funny.

It probably isn't well reflected in this blog but I would say my best quality is my sense of humor. I would also say my worst quality is I think I'm hilarious. Actually, I find almost everything to be just on the brink of hilarity in some way.

This is usually not a problem but for the last few years I've noticed a bunch of ways my humor sets me back.

At Work: I often use humor to lighten the mood or acknowledge a frustration before it becomes toxic. In my head I don't see why we all can't compartmentalize the serious focus of the work we do away from the silliness that day-to-day lab science (and I would say most types of work) brings. I used to be pretty oblivious that I was hurting myself professionally; I figured that I was coming off as fresh and spirited rather than flighty and sometimes obnoxious. So I've toned it down quite a bit and save goofy comments for later (or better yet keep them in my head). So in this area I've gotten better though I must admit sometimes it feels pretty ridiculous to act like everything is life-or-death and I let a comment slip.

Personally: Humor here lightens the mood too, and in group settings sometimes this is a good thing. I think I am a Chandler Bing, though. I use humor to get out of uncomfortable situations but, sadly, almost all situations where I deal with people are initially uncomfortable. And in one on one situations (i.e. relationships) I don't know when or how to turn the comedian off. Also, here I don't think everything is funny, life gives situations that are pretty serious and sometimes I need help dealing with them and not using humor to cover it up.

In my athletic endeavors: The one positive side to my sense of humor is that it is a way for me to deal with my fears. When you hyperbolize an issue it makes the real one seem small. Like was I afraid I'd be so slow in the marathon that they'd hand me a trash bag and ask me to clean up water cups? No, but joking about it reminded me that I would get through it and it could be worse. The downside though is that I use humor to somewhat excuse myself from pushing hard or excelling. I will joke about being lazy or slow but what I am realizing is that is just me telling myself I can be lazy and slow. I think my sense of humor is so finely tuned out of self-consciousness.

When I joined Team in Training I was so afraid that people would think I was too slow/fat/lazy to be a triathlete but as I trained with them (THE WORLD'S MOST POSITIVE PEOPLE) the environment was so positive that I didn't have to joke. Instead of saying the only way they would get me into a lake was to drop my body in there with the other murdered carcasses (because that is where murderers dispose of bodies) I said if my TEAM was doing it I'd give it a try. I never let myself tease me out of a situation. Now it is time to apply that same positivity to Crossfit. While the pre-TNT Amber has visions of herself crumpled on the mat as fit and lean people aerobicize on top of her, the POST-TNT Amber is going to try it.


The craziest thing about triathlon/running for me has been how the lessons I've learned apply to other areas in my life. I like that these sports keep me active and are helping me get fit but I LOVE that they are helping me figure out who it is I want to be and what obstacles I need to work on to get there. I need to stop teasing myself out of succeeding at work and in my personal life (i.e. relationships J ). If I just work hard and have a bit of faith in myself then that is most of the battle.

1 comment:

The Ayala Family said...

Hey Amber, this is Katie. You put that so well, I do the same thing in all aspects of my life! Thanks for the words of wisdom!