Wednesday, October 26, 2016

We are in heated agreement*

I don't know how to more enthusiastically be enthusiastic about things at work.

It's a real problem.

I'll be asked to do something and I'll say "no problem" without any amount of problem or underlying distaste for the task. Then I'll be asked again and again until I'm needlessly annoyed about being asked to do the thing but still not about the thing. But annoyed nonetheless and I worry that I also look annoyed at that point.

The culture here seems to be trending toward a level of exuberance that I'm just not cut out for and frankly isn't entirely believable to me. I've been here almost nine (nine!) years but I feel like the culture and my own personal mannerisms have diverged a bit over the past couple years.

I honestly am stumped on what to do. I try to stay genuine and positive in my comments and in many ways I'm more of a team player now than at other points in my career here. I read Shackleton's Way a few years back and it really helped me become a better employee and overall more objective about things. But it looks different on me than I think people might want to see?

nowadays this makes me the most ragey- WHO THE HELL SLIPS A P100 IN WHEN ANY DECENT PERSON EXPECTS A P200?!?!?!?

The other day I had to tell my manager "you're not taking yes for an answer." I'd just gotten super frustrated over repeatedly and (to me) good naturedly saying I'd be happy to do something. He asked enough times that I even double checked my body language and face settings but as far as I could judge they were all in line. And to clarify it was a future item- I wasn't just being asked as a way of prodding progress. It's during planning that this sort of things happens and I don't get it.

In 10th grade I attended the HOBY Youth Leadership conference and we did the following chant:
"To be enthusiastic you must act enthusiastic (repeat thrice). OH BOY! AM I ENTHUUUUSIASTIC!"

Guess it's time to channel that mantra.
Oh boy.

*9 years ago I first heard our CEO say this at a lab meeting when two people were saying the same thing differently and I loved it so much. I try to use it as often as it is relevant.

Cute kids just because

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