Oh the things you forget

Well, now I remember how tenuous sleep is for my pregnant self. It is 4:30am on Tuesday and I am groggily wide awake. It was precipitated by what I'm assuming to be a heat wake up ( it is 82 in his room, blech) by A but he got a drink and was back to sleep. Me? I'm on my second episode of house hunters (HH). 

Other things I forgot:

-how much more pregnant you feel like you look than you actually look. 

- how I scrutinize every gas bubble until there is for reals movement. 

I'm feeling pretty good these days. It is interesting to be a little surprised by pregnancy. Those first days I just thought I was entering another of our awful 2015 sick cycles. I was so tired and felt like death warmed over in the morning. Actually the morning of Andrew's stitches and the morning of our accident I was feeling like absolute shit- I wish I'd embraced the suckage and just stayed home. 

I'm glad that everyone at work knows now. They don't just think I've been perpetually hung over for the past couple months.

I thought I remembered the extreme, bone crushing fatigue but it turns out that can't be remembered clearly and has to reveal itself to you anew and with a vengeance. 

This also falls under forgotten things- I'm excited about the prospect of delivery this time. That was pretty cool. 

Are you toddlering me? *

All of my totally true and justified gushing aside, let's be real. Andrew is a toddler. So while he is truly a delight he is still a touch crazy. 

He is currently working on throwing himself down. I think he sucks at it. Picture Amy March in the Liz Taylor version of Little Women when she dramatically faints during the girls' skit. He gently lowers himself to the ground and then lays there like he is taking a nap. 

Michael thinks he's practicing Dr. King type passive resistance. 

He has toddler OCD. He often will have a very particular method for lining up his cup and bowl during meals. He often turns into a deranged person if he is served something whole and it gets cut in front of him. The book stacking. 

He seems to have somewhat disordered eating. He will be a voracious hungry bear one day, not able to get enough, and the next he will nibble like a bird. 

He has unfounded trust issues especially around food. Even if Michael and I have identical plates to his he will insist that we share with him as though either ours is subtly better or we might eat it all without there being enough for him. 

He is a strange and wonderful- emphasis varys but usually the wonderful side far outweighs. 

Everyday as we walk out from daycare he checks to see if there are bugs under this brick. Once we found roly polys- but alas never again. 

* the dad on Blackish was accused of toddlering by his wife. It cracked us up. 

Money and Morality

 I feel like all of my podcasts have randomly been showing me how much I link money and morality. 

On Slates money podcast they were discussing deliberate defaulting on your student loans. 2/3 hosts were adamant that there is no morality to be associated with this. That a loan document is merely a contract and if you are willing to accept the consequences of defaulting then you've done nothing morally probalematic. 

This sort of blew my mind. I guess I'd always felt that there is a moral obligation and that simple explanation has me rethinking. 

Then today on Death, Sex and Money a corrupt police officer talked about his time stealing and dealing drugs. They finished the interview talking about the 35k/year pension he collects. I felt insanely outraged but his argument was that he was serving and was injured legitimately on the job. So as laid out in the contract he qualifies. 

Doesnt our economic system need people to feel a moral not just legal obligation when it comes to money for it to hold up? Is that just because the suckers (me, people who chose to keep paying their severely underwater houses, etc) are numerous enough to balance people who -now I can see, rightly- merely chose to take the legal consequences and bail? Is it time to shake my Pa Ingalls sensibility?