You have an awesome husband

I do. I really do. But I was completely baffled when my coworker said this to me a while ago. Baffled because it came up as we were discussing lunch. She is one of the only two other women in my company and has been on board for about 4-6 months but we are in different groups so we rarely have chatted. We were killing time in the microwave line and discussing what we typically bring. I said that I am more of a pull-things-at-random gal whereas M is a make-a-sandwich kind of guy. She replied saying “wow, your husband is awesome.” I hope my automatic side-eye didn’t come off as a dispute and I followed up that I agree, he is quite awesome. Since we aren’t friendly friends I only chided her a little about that being the criteria for awesome.

He is wonderful. He is the kind of person who will chew on a problem you give him and really give it his best to help you find a resolution. He will extend himself out of his comfort zone to try something new with you or because it makes you happy (Andrew is the primary beneficiary of this and really pushes this trait to amazing limits). He is helpful and kind. He is smart. His sense of humor meshes with mine such that if something discreetly funny happens in a crowd I can’t look at him because I know I’ll bust up- and I don’t need to look at him because I know he thinks it is funny too.

With all of that going on, I didn’t even think to put “makes his own lunch” on the list. I guess I should have because I think what it means is that he respects my time and wouldn’t expect a lunch to be made for him. It also potentially shows that he appreciates me and is grateful if I do make him a lunch. It indicates that he is considerate and likely sometimes makes one for me. It might suggest that he is either a) frugal or b) health conscious (these things have varying degrees of truth ;) ).

I’m 100% sure that my colleague was not trying to put her own husband down, I don’t think she thinks a woman should prepare lunches and I’m fairly certain she’d have her own list of attributes for her own husband. If we do become closer friends, I’m sure we’ll wind up laughing about this. But I was really caught off guard and had an involuntary feminist sneeze at the idea that feeding oneself should be lauded in a married man. I also got a bit sad at how long it has taken to get to this place and it is still far to go.
Many things trouble me in the raising-a-son category but his male role model is not one of them.









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