Friday, June 20, 2014

My Son’s First Toxic Relationship

Andrew is in his first (hopefully only) toxic relationship… with the cat. For the last week or so he has been obsessed with the female cat Princess (yeah, really, at least it works well with the story). He is absolutely, head over heels, giddy with excitement when she walks past him, gaga, in love with her. He will be sitting and minding his own business playing or eating but as soon as she enters the room he starts waving and laughing. She however, does not share the same emotion. Her attitude toward him vacillates between indifferent and outright animosity. She is flat out mean.

It makes me crazy (well, it actually makes me laugh pretty good) because he is amazingly calm and gentle with her 90% of the time which is so much more than I think can be expected of a 10 month old. She bats at his little hand (and scratched him a few times, grr) even when she is free to move away and he is stuck behind a baby gate. He is so deep into this relationship that he gets upset when we admonish her in front of him.

He needs an intervention. And she needs to chill the eff out. Since she is basically spherical you’d think she would appreciate him as a source of table scraps and handouts. The boy drops salmon, chicken, beef and a wide variety of other feline delicacies all the time.

I’m sure they’ll work out their relationship but if you ask me, his mama, she is not good enough for my baby.

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