The ways they change you

I am not a pet person. I just honestly don't get it at all and try to just respect pet people even I don't share their beliefs. This has made dealing with my step-cats somewhat difficult. I'm just not that into them.

I have posted about that on this blog already. I recognized then that the redeeming feature was how infatuated my nephews were. Well multiply that joy to the baby love power and you’d have how Andrew feels about them. It has been pretty adorable to watch him go from complete oblivion that cats (or any other beings) existed to being over-the-top ecstatic when they walk past him.

The thing that amazed me though is what his love for them has done for my feelings towards them. I think teaching children to respect animals is very important but figured there would be a learning curve for both baby and animals as each learned to control some of their actions. I was pretty interested to see how it would play out. Now, if you had asked any of our friends to vote which cat we should have been more worried about around the baby I think 90% would have guessed the male cat Lucky.

This cat has a terrible reputation and has not been able to live down his youth where he had earned the nickname “Wolverine.” He spent many days, much to my chagrin, sharpening his claws on nearly every door frame in the house and is obnoxiously needy in the single digit hours of the morning. Needless to say, he and I were not close. That is until he showed so much restraint and love to my baby boy.



This cat has been the kindest and most gentle toward baby Andrew. Lucky goes to him most of the time, he lets Andrew pet him- which can be very gentle but can sometimes be quite spastic, he delights Andrew by flicking his tail across his face. He hasn’t hissed or swatted at him, even when a gentle petting hand turns into an excited fist. All of this kindness did not go unnoticed by me. I started to love him for loving my baby.



And the more I thought about it, I loved him for loving my Michael too. For being his friend and TV buddy before I got there. For the cute kitten stories and memories he’s given Michael.



Not being a pet person has left me pretty unprepared for the hard choices pet owners have to make. Poor Lucky is feeling pretty bad these days despite our best efforts. I don’t have any way to help Michael know when to make the decision to put him down but now I will mourn losing him from our little family. Not just because Michael loves him or because Andrew loves him but for myself too. I still don’t really get what pet owners get out of their pets but I am feeling the second hand love. I’ll miss what Lucky brought to our family and I’m so sad Andrew won’t get to know him better and have memories of his first pet.

So thank you Lucky for being so great to my boys. And thank you Andrew for the ways you open me up and the light you shine on my life.




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My Son’s First Toxic Relationship

Andrew is in his first (hopefully only) toxic relationship… with the cat. For the last week or so he has been obsessed with the female cat Princess (yeah, really, at least it works well with the story). He is absolutely, head over heels, giddy with excitement when she walks past him, gaga, in love with her. He will be sitting and minding his own business playing or eating but as soon as she enters the room he starts waving and laughing. She however, does not share the same emotion. Her attitude toward him vacillates between indifferent and outright animosity. She is flat out mean.

It makes me crazy (well, it actually makes me laugh pretty good) because he is amazingly calm and gentle with her 90% of the time which is so much more than I think can be expected of a 10 month old. She bats at his little hand (and scratched him a few times, grr) even when she is free to move away and he is stuck behind a baby gate. He is so deep into this relationship that he gets upset when we admonish her in front of him.

He needs an intervention. And she needs to chill the eff out. Since she is basically spherical you’d think she would appreciate him as a source of table scraps and handouts. The boy drops salmon, chicken, beef and a wide variety of other feline delicacies all the time.



I’m sure they’ll work out their relationship but if you ask me, his mama, she is not good enough for my baby.


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On naps

I asked in my last post whether I should nap or not. Seems like a no brainer.

Naps are also one of the most often heard pieces of advice you get as a new parent (after, don't blink it goes so fast). But I never was able to settle into the "sleep when he sleeps" rule for at least two reasons.
1. Uh, I need to get shit done.
2. I am not a good napper.

I so very rarely wake up from a nap well rested. Nine times out of ten I wake up more disoriented than I was when I went to sleep. It is a struggle because it feels so good to cozy into my bed in broad daylight. Feels so deliciously wrong. But whenever I nap I know I am risking feeling like I got hit by a frying pan.

M is an excellent power napper. He will take a ten minute nap! That just seems outrageous.

I usually decide based on how tired I am. Because sometimes getting even a handful of winks is worth feeling groggy.

Picture of Andrew as we shared a apple and greens Popsicle.



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