Washington, you're doing it wrong

We went to the beach! Last weekend of October. You'll be SHOCKED to learn it was rainy.

M's dad rented us all an awesome base house with a killer ocean view. His family had been going here for many eons and it was cool to get to bring our kids with him. Sadly this weekend was the first available so we didn't exactly get to do it the sunny way.

But we tried!

The full day we were there it was a torrential downpour but we attempted the beach with hopes of a break. No such luck

It was pretty comical, the sand for sand castles was soaked and heavy.






Miranda was not buying it.

But we explored and did our best to enjoy the surroundings.







But the true value of the trip came from hanging out with M's family. We watched movies and colored and played Zingo.






Andrew slept in a twin bed for the first time which felt crazy.




I feel like Washingtonians are sadly under experiencing what a real beach weekend is. But they are cute for trying.

Hugh O'brian creeping me

Ok how creepy. A few hours after I posted my HOBY chant I got this text.



Computers are freaky.



Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

We are in heated agreement*

I don't know how to more enthusiastically be enthusiastic about things at work.

It's a real problem.

I'll be asked to do something and I'll say "no problem" without any amount of problem or underlying distaste for the task. Then I'll be asked again and again until I'm needlessly annoyed about being asked to do the thing but still not about the thing. But annoyed nonetheless and I worry that I also look annoyed at that point.

The culture here seems to be trending toward a level of exuberance that I'm just not cut out for and frankly isn't entirely believable to me. I've been here almost nine (nine!) years but I feel like the culture and my own personal mannerisms have diverged a bit over the past couple years.

I honestly am stumped on what to do. I try to stay genuine and positive in my comments and in many ways I'm more of a team player now than at other points in my career here. I read Shackleton's Way a few years back and it really helped me become a better employee and overall more objective about things. But it looks different on me than I think people might want to see?






nowadays this makes me the most ragey- WHO THE HELL SLIPS A P100 IN WHEN ANY DECENT PERSON EXPECTS A P200?!?!?!?

The other day I had to tell my manager "you're not taking yes for an answer." I'd just gotten super frustrated over repeatedly and (to me) good naturedly saying I'd be happy to do something. He asked enough times that I even double checked my body language and face settings but as far as I could judge they were all in line. And to clarify it was a future item- I wasn't just being asked as a way of prodding progress. It's during planning that this sort of things happens and I don't get it.

In 10th grade I attended the HOBY Youth Leadership conference and we did the following chant:
"To be enthusiastic you must act enthusiastic (repeat thrice). OH BOY! AM I ENTHUUUUSIASTIC!"

Guess it's time to channel that mantra.
Oh boy.

*9 years ago I first heard our CEO say this at a lab meeting when two people were saying the same thing differently and I loved it so much. I try to use it as often as it is relevant.

Cute kids just because

















- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Test

Too many posts had gotten eaten by my old blogging app that I was ready to give up. The outcry against this so was overwhelming and 100% of my readership reached out to me to protest.

So let's try a new app.


Here's a test post.
This past weekend was planned to be really full and fun.

On Friday however we got word from daycare that M was running a temp. Michael finished up work and picked the kids up* and we snuggled our girl and went to a wait and see mode.
*this was the first time in my working parent life that I've not been the one closer to go get a sick kid. It was weird. These kids are so damn lucky to have the dad they have. Makes me pretty lucky too.

We had a movie night on Friday and kept it easy.

A rough night on Friday led to a fever free baby Saturday morning! We went for a walk to the park with our friends chalitor. And still had a happy fever-free baby.

Our big Saturday plan was the 7th annual pumpkin carving party. We all had a perfect record and it is our favorite Halloween tradition we were really hoping to get to go. So we did no preparation but decided if our baby patient had a good nap and woke up feeling good we'd all go. And we did!

Sunday Michael and I had our first show on our new season tickets to the paramount theater. It was for the Carole King musical "beautiful" (alternately titled "yep, I wrote that too"). The kids stayed with a baby sitter and that is probably another post.

Well, I've written this long ramble and it hasn't crashed!
Let's add pics.
























The plan had been that Andrew would make some monster chocolate covered pretzels but we figured if we had some sort of plague we'd keep it to ourselves

Test 2

My blogging app appears dead. 

Signing off forever. 

Physics and body image

Everyone who has taken any intro to physics know

Force= Mass x Acceleration

Sadly a quarter or two later you learn about how stored energy works.

Last night was a physics word problem come to life at my little Fit4Mom workout class. 

My mass accelerating created enough force to snap the resistance band that my partner was holding for me and it snapped back unleashing all of that stored energy hitting her hand and whipping back to give a big lash on her back. I was so worried for her, concerned about her pain and hand, guilty and embarrassed last night that I came home and cried on Michael.  

Now getting the word that her fingers aren’t broken and ligaments look OK I can focus on those last two emotions especially the embarrassment.

The root of it is in the fact that it is hard for me to look at my body objectively, even when I am my fittest self I struggle with seeing myself with love and kindness and when you add the 20 lb that I can’t move since Miranda was born it is a real struggle. I work hard, and especially since I have a husband who I feel secure knowing he loves my body and children who I want to always feel good in their own skin, I work hard to be kinder and to be appreciative. And it usually works OK. I actually oddly feel better about my body naked than I do dressed and had recently convinced myself that was a sign of ill fitting or uninspiring clothing. 

Now, I know in my head that it could have happened to anyone. Furthermore there are women in this class who are 5'11" and certainly weigh as much as I do unless they are severely underweight. But I am feeling HUMILIATED. No one made any indication that my fatty self had caused the accident and i was not self absorbed enough to worry about it much last night but today I'm so so embarrassed. And struggling to regain perspective on my self image. I really don't want to go back to class and, albeit immature, I keep finding myself wanting to or actually self sabotage  with food. I hate that my self image is so fragile and really hate how quickly any progress can be dashed. There is nothing I want more than to get a handle on my own shit before my kids get cognizant of the idea that there should ever be anything to dislike about your body. And I will keep working on it because it really does matter to me that Michael and I lead the way for them. But holy shit this incident highlighted what a thin (excuse me healthy) rope I walk on the path of good self image. 

 I feed a person using just my body and I lift cabs off of my baby with one hand. Why do I give my body such a hard time?

Todd-splaining

At a birthday party last week Señor  Bossypants was explaining how to properly use the gift he’d chosen (a monster truck) and emphasizing how much it would benefit the birthday girl if he showed her by playing with it. I joked that he was man-splaining to us but thinking about it I realized that wasn’t right or fair.

Four birthday party food groups: cake, cupcake, rice Krispy treat and chocolate 

He was todd-splaining (and I don’t mean explaining it to Todd, which he also did, but it is toddler explanations). He is in the adorable yet sometime exasperating apex of a deep command of language and newly developing awareness of how and why things are the way they are- whether perceived or real. This seems to create an enthusiasm that WILL NOT BE contained and ideas which MUST BE evangelized. I love hearing how he is putting together complex issues in his- like when he was telling us that yogurt melted and became smoothie. The ideas that it is obvious he’s chewed on for a while and is ready to explain to you.  Todd-splaining can be a bit tiresome being explained to in focused and wholly incorrect detail. Like when your little backseat driver explains how you shouldn't have turned because the light is red and you explain about right turns- then hearing about how you should go on a red light but then have to discuss that some right turns have special rules. Can be exhausting. 

But hot damn if the messenger isn't too cute and too earnest to argue with sometimes.